When I first saw you I knew we would be perfect together
So I took you home with me and made you mine right then
I wrote my name and phone number on your face in Jiffy Marker

But when I took you out for the first time
You started flipping on me right away.
You started straying away from me.
Some nights I would get phone calls from strange men,
Asking if I wanted you back, or if they could keep you.
And sometimes you would go away for months at a time
Nobody would phone
And then I would find you in some other players bag.

So I changed the way you were treated.
I started by getting a better grip on you
I began hitting you hard against trees
And making sure that the chains hit you even harder.

When I said that you were nothing but a tombstone on the fairway
Or that I hated you
Or called you stupid and threw you on the ground
I didn't really mean it.

But eventually we grew apart.
I started going out with the boys more
Leaving you at home
It was a plastic affair.

Then after a while of neglecting you,
I noticed you started listening to me again.
You stopped running away into the woods
You started behaving like a good disc should.

And then after a few years you became my favorite,
Out of all the discs I would choose you more often.
We played together all the time,
Laughing and soaring through the fairways.

But then one day you changed
I am still not sure if it was that last time
That I hit you against that big rock
But I knew immediately you would never be the same.
And then, on that final fateful day

You left me for good.
I told you to go left, but you went right.
Right into the pond. 

Now you are all alone, with no other discs around you.
No more long summer days at the course,
being exercised daily.
No more cozy winter nights
Bundled up in the backyard.

At least I only paid 3$ for you on eBay.